Braved the cold and walked to Officeworks to print my readings so I can study during the day. What I quickly discovered is that I can’t do that anymore. I walked super slowly but needed reinforcements to go home.

I went to a physio info session yesterday and although I know (and have been told) that my body is different from Clover’s pregnancy, I never really knew why.

The physio asked if I still breastfeed, I said she weaned herself off in Sept. Then it hit me, hormones. I don’t know how long it takes for breastfeeding hormones to leave the body but it’s probably not instant. Sept-Dec 2015 was pretty full on for us and it never occurred to how much my body has handled in the last 10 months.

Relaxin peaks early in pregnancy, levels out and increases to give birth. I got a double dose of that (albiet one wasn’t for very long) plus breastfeeding hormones leaving my body just made for a concoction of crazy. Relaxin is probably a cause of my aches.

My body really isn’t the same but not due to lack of trying or anything I’ve done (intentionally). I’m told that “chasing a toddler” is one of the reasons why I’m not the same. I respectfully disagree, partly because I really don’t run after her and secondly we’ve set up our home so she can do things independently without me neededing to pick her up all the time. My body isn’t the same because of changes in my body (and not getting enough rest). Knowing this has eased things somewhat but the physical exhaustion and the inability to be comfortable is a bit of a bummer. What’s strange though it all feels normal, yes I get disheartened that I’m too tired to do things but I’m actually really okay with that. Knowing that it’s hormones takes the pressure off.

I loved being pregnant with Clover (and even Pixel) and I do love being pregnant now. It’s just different because sometimes it is hard but it’s also quite the same. I get flashbacks of what it was like with Clover in my belly, I remember those feelings of just being, I remember talking and singing to her and sharing random thoughts. And this time round Clover gets to be part of the chorus of voices the baby will hear and grow to love.

96 days #untilwemeetourlittlebaby